Revised New Edition of INDUCED AMNESIA

A newly revised edition of INDUCED AMNESIA will be released via publisher BookBaby soon! The new copy will include a new cover.AMNESIAcover3

While the were some small editing revisions made to the coming new to-be-released version, it really is more about the new cover and renewed interest in the novel as well as the topic of mental health.

I’m so glad to see the current awareness toward depression and other mental health disorders being brought to light. With suicide and depression at an all-time high, it’s so vital that the stigma be lifted and very real chemical diseases be open for discussion and understanding. These are health diseases just like other very real health threats such as Diabetes and Thyroid disease. We need to be able to discuss these topics openly and find support among our peers – peers who may not have had to deal personally with such issues, but are now aware of how very real and damaging these diseases are. For mental disease, support and understanding is paramount and vital to those fighting it.

INDUCED AMNESIA – while it is a fictional novel on a fictional topic – does center around depression and the very real reality of it. It’s been described as ” a portrait of depression that opens into profound self-help awakening.” It’s a must-read for any who enjoyed books such as: The Bell Jar, Prozac Nation, Veronika Decides To Die, Girl, Interrupted, A Million Little Pieces and even Celestine Prophecy. Explore the dark side of depression and the enlightening wisdom that emerges in the newly revised novel INDUCED AMNESIA today!

“The quiet is when the pain comes over me with a heavy sweep, in a torrent gaining force by night silence. The day noises of friends, co-workers, strangers, anybody – are usually enough to keep the swell low and yet, they don’t know that, these people; and so, they get busy, they go home, they forget about me – and ever slowly each night, I’m pulled down again. It’s a cycle. I’m broken – and every night, I feel the ruin.”

“By morning, I’m back, craving the noise again, seeking solace in other people – desperately needing it. Over time though, this tidal flow has weakened me. It’s pushed my longing for freedom into an obsession. My strength to fight is gone, and far more profound than the heartache is that my soul has started to slip away, separating from its core and aching for another place – but that’s not what really frightens me. The cold truth is the fact that I want to disappear with it. I’m craving and reaching for true freedom, for death. Yes, that’s it – death or something like it.” ~excerpt INDUCED AMNESIA

Reader Reviews:

“I devoured this enlightening book.  It makes you think and feel, and stays with you long after the last page.”

“I finished the book this morning at the gym. I’ve been holding on to the last 30 pages because I didn’t want it to end! So the last few pages I was crying on the treadmill when Victoria went to visit Chloe! Btw. Hard to do cardio and cry! I didn’t see that coming but felt the ending was going to be a great and unexpected…….I want this to be a movie so I can meet Chloe! You are an amazing writer!!”

“It took a few pages but then I couldn’t put it down.  It’s a spiritual awakening to how our lives can be affected by our unique perspective on life. Beautifully written.”

“Hard to put down once you get started. It is very insightful. It makes you think about perception of things.”

“This book is like a more tragic Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”

“The story was interesting and different than anything I’ve ever read….. Then we get to the end, which is very powerful and nothing like I expected, nothing.”

“When I saw the book I knew I had to read this!! The concept is very intriguing. There is a lot of drama and sadness in the story and it is also well written……….Overall the book is a must read. I would recommend it with 4 stars.”

Find out more about INDUCED AMNESIA @

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Mental Mastery

“Mental mastery comes through conditioning.”   – Robin S. Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

This is the point to start, for so many reasons, since we are the only ones who can create for ourselves. It’s true, too, that we are the only ones who can fix ourselves; and Mental mastery is where it must begin.

Seems daunting though. If your life is not where you want it, it does seem odd that suggesting such a lofty task for you like mastering your own mind should be so elementary. But the simple beginning truth to know is: the way out is in.

“It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems…….You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts.” Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

Pay close attention to your mind activity and you’ll see that you are aware of your mind chattering. There’s a part of you listening. To break it down: your consciousness is listening. It carries awareness. But your mind chats at you, incessantly.

“If your mind is obsessed with thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy it is, of course, due to the fact that such ideas have dominated your thinking over a long period of time…….We build up the feeling of insecurity or security by how we think.” Norman Vincent Peale, The Power Of Positive Thinking

Just as we know that being told something repeatedly, whether in fact true or not, can sooner or later be believed as truth and have great effects on us personally, so your mind wields this very power. Often it drowns out the consciousness, that connection to universal knowing and power, and weakens us; for some, devastatingly so.

“To free yourself of your inner thorns, you simply stop playing with them.” Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

Be patient with yourself though; it can time. For so long you’ve thought a certain way and have allowed certain thought processes to dominate your mind. Therefore the undoing and mastering may not happen overnight. But your first step is to begin. It’s easy to do – you start by quieting the chatter, in fact, just stop it completely for even small periods of time. Make the mind stay quiet. And don’t say you can’t – tell your mind to say the word “happy”. Do you hear it? Now repeat the word – hear it again? Now yell it in your mind 3 times. And bingo! For a few seconds you’ve mastered your mind. Simple.

Now you need to control what you focus on and allow your mind to think. Be conscious of it throughout the day. You’ll soon discover that you’re catching, and now stopping, several negative flows of inner conversation.

Mastery = mastering attention and intention = mind

Everything carries energy = everything carries consciousness. Think about this: every thing, everything is made of atoms, moving electrons, and in other words, energy.

The mind is the magnet for the energy we find ourselves swathed in.

“The mind runs because you are giving it the power of your attention. Withdraw your attention, and the thinking mind falls away.” Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul

This is why mental mastery is important. Thoughts affect you. You are an energy system. Therefore your thoughts have effect on you, every aspect of you – feelings, actions, reactions, consequences.

This is why we must make a conscious effort to monitor our thoughts and quickly stop and release negative thoughts, whether you believe they serve you or not, it’s not empowering to allow or engage negativity. Remember – it’s an energy fact that like attracts like. Control your energy by controlling your mind.

“Control your focus. Every thought, every feeling, in every moment, either strengthens or weakens – with every given second, we grow or whither, we strengthen or begin to die. So choose to see the beauty of this world, draw love in, embrace joy and peace, and let everything else go.” Tyin C. Krysset, Induced Amnesia

It may take time, but you win mental mastery through training/conditioning. Realize that emotions like fear and worry drain us of power when indulged in. These feelings will rise – acknowledge them, then let them go. I mean it – acknowledge, then let go – and then you place your mind back in its positive track one more time. This will help you to control your response to life, which in turn gives you control over your destiny. It’s all about controlling focus on what you allow yourself to concentrate on. Practice – like it takes for anything we want to conquer – is what makes perfect. Persist. The outcome is so worth it in our long run.



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The Heart Wants What It Wants Is Stupid

This time last year I wrote the post – People Are Emotionally Diseased – and it is to-date a post that has and is generating large traffic. It wasn’t necessarily what people wanted to hear but needed to hear and as a result it was passed on and on. Today, in keeping with that theme in mind lol of being slightly politically incorrect, here is my opening post for the coming year of 2015…

The heart wants what it wants. It’s a phrase that gets tossed out so often in terms of relationships mostly, and it’s almost exclusively used to defend dysfunctional or what I term as “broken” behavior. Selena Gomez has a hit song out right now with that very title – and I should digress now and admit I love the song and her personally as an artist – but it’s a beacon on broken behavior, not a support song. I know it sounds great in a song – but – here’s what I have to say for that phrase – it’s not an excuse or a valid, heartfelt declaration. It’s a blazing sign that the user of such a phrase is weakened mindfully and emotionally. It’s an assertion of a lack of discipline, self-control and sometimes even seemingly nicer way of saying “I’m throwing my integrity out the window”. Let’s be honest, if you’re saying those words you know deep down that you’ve lost and some sense of heartfelt pain is in store for you, or it’s a cover for selfish behavior and likely for hurting someone.

The heart wants what the heart wants implies a lack of control and a reasonable thought process. It implies admission to “I’m weak” and somehow okay with that. But you shouldn’t be contented with such a notion for yourself. If you don’t stand strong for your own self-esteem, who will?

Here’s the fact – the heart doesn’t control anything. Your mind IS the control center, the power center and the true you. And the great part to this post is the fact that you need to know – you can and do control your thoughts and your mind. And there are a million reasons why you need to and should want to exhibit some self-discipline over it.


“What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered. The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that we are free to change this destiny. One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements.” ― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

The heart wants what it wants is an attempt to say that we are not responsible for our actions and attitudes – but that’s simply not true. We are. Always. And the faster and more seriously we embrace that fact, the faster we can move on to taking control over our lives, and ultimately what happens to us.

“Self-knowledge is the DNA of self-enlightenment… The lack of willpower is a mental disease… When you master your mind you master your life.” – Robin S. Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

So HOW do we do this? How do we take control back when we’ve allowed ourselves to foolishly think hearts run the show without control? Start by beginning to read some of my earlier posts – or if you have – go back and re-read some of them (specifically Feeding The Mind & Soul series. But at the end of the day it begins with a simple choice. Just like that. Make a choice for power, self-esteem and the good of all involved, then stick to it.

For the coming year, lets want more for ourselves. Let’s address that success comes from a self-disciplined, conditioned, strong mind – and let’s go out and find that. Let’s want power and embrace that.

“I now know – pain is a lesson only, meant to guide us and be left behind, forgotten. This world is pre-school for the soul and nothing more. It needs not to be taken so seriously. Control your focus. Every thought, every feeling, in every moment, either strengthens or weakens – with every given second, we grow or whither, we strengthen or begin to die. So choose to see the beauty of this world, draw love in, embrace joy and peace, and let everything else go. In terms of what you are, and where you’re going – everything else will mean nothing.”

“Connecting to our powerful birthright is as simple as a choice – so choose to reconnect back to your power. Meditate to maintain a peaceful, grateful spirit, ask for guidance, and control your chattering, wandering mind. Focus only on what you want and release all negative feelings. Remember you are infinite, powerful and creative – you are part of a magnificent cosmic universe that out-shines the most stunning beauty you can imagine, it holds the most profound love you could ever feel here in physical form and we are all – every one of us, every cell, every atom – connected, related and joined. And the day will come, when the tether will break, and we’ll be released back to our source, back to our creator, back into and beyond the galaxy of stars, back into love, back into pure and full release, back into bliss. Have your soul’s eyes opened? Have you found your purpose? Have you learned how easy peace is to maintain? I have. Meditate and control your inner dialogue. Focus. And always hold onto peace and love, letting everything else go. It’s just that simple. Who knew.” – Tyin C. Krysset, Induced Amnesia

My love to you all for 2015….


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The Sad Departure Of Robin Williams

AS many know, I take summers off – I rarely write and I am not online in any fashion – for those sending me notes (curious of the absence), I did mean to post, then suddenly found myself buried in landscape, gardening and my new home.017 I do, however, still answer those that either email or private message me. I’ve decided, though, to weigh in with a short post after hearing of the sad departure of Robin Williams. His loss (a great loss of such a talented, giving soul) has since opened conversations, and questions, on depression and mental illness – which was needed. It’s a platform I’ve tried for some time to open doors to myself – people need to become more aware, less afraid and much, much more comfortable speaking of depression. This is a prominent disease that even today, people still deny – they deny they have it – out of fear for themselves and how it will affect their lives and others around them – and there are even those who will still say they deny it exists. There are those that think it’s a plea for attention; that it’s a normal sadness indulged and simply nothing more than a made-up excuse to cradle people’s ego’s and sell more medications. It’s time this world wakes up – and at the very least, Robin Williams life legacy has drawn a spotlight to a much-needed disease that needs to be taken seriously and addressed. It is a battle that can be won, but not in the dark. Not alone. Not in hidden fear.

Chloe Gunn (novel, Induced Amnesia) describes this disease as trying to live “with a demon on your back”.  It’s invasive, dark, suffocating and so, so exhausting. And I suppose, unless you’ve had to live with this demon it’s impossible to fathom why ending your life seems like the answer – but over time, the word exhausting is an understatement. It’s like fighting a surging undercurrent daily, hourly and even minute by minute at times. For some, it gets to a point – if it seems like the undertow will never cease or disappear – where exiting the fight altogether is the answer. This very real danger to ending this disease was the genesis of Induced Amnesia

But it’s important to be said that this fight can be won, the undercurrent can be tamed and joy can be illuminated again. The first key to this victory starts with being able to acknowledge the disease, being able to openly talk about it without judgment and then together, as a society, working to manage and heal with compassion and daily support and effort. Loved ones and precious souls do not need to drown in this disease.

Robin wanted to be open about the disease. And so, this post isn’t just about bringing awareness to those that are fighting this demon and feel alone – this is a plea to all of you out there who may not ‘get it’, who think you don’t know anyone suffering, who may suspect, but feel it’s taboo or weak to speak of – it’s a plea to everyone, every person – there are ways to overcome, but someone suffering cannot do it alone. Don’t let someone you know, and may even love, slip through your grasp………..learn the symptoms (they can start subtly), openly discuss this disease with compassion and understanding and please – everyone – educate yourselves on how to treat and manage depression successfully. Please.018

As always, I’m here for any of you….. I wish personal power and consciousness for us all in whatever demons we have to fight. You can find your inner power – it’s our designed birthright.


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The Power Of A Word

IS there power in a word? Can a word change energy flow? Is there one word that can feel like a comfort blanket that you pull around yourself, one word that can center your spirit in an instant, one word that can separate you from chaos and remind you of your true worth?

Is there? The truth is – yes. But it isn’t just one particular word per se. The real truth is: words carry energy – some give power, and some take power. And many, many of us don’t even realize it.  Scientifically, it’s even been proven. In the book Power Vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, kinesiology is used to show how things we never expect can, and do, affect our consciousness – things such as words, or even physical items and substances that we touch and ingest. Our bodies react through kinesiology testing to words and physical items, and cannot lie.

Another great scientific example is the book The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto. He’s found a process of instantly freezing water – exposed to different sources of external sound like vocal words or music – and creating crystals of it. Keep in mind we, as humans, are made up of 70 per cent water. The crystal snowflake pattern is always varied, yet they very obviously reflect what they were exposed to. Words or sounds of beauty and positivity produced beautiful patterned crystals. And likewise, negative stimulus of word or sound produced fragmented, deformed crystals.  quote30

“In Japan, it is said……the act of speaking words has the power to change the world.” Masaru Emoto

A power word, or words, should be chosen by you, well-chosen ones that apply to your soul. They can be very simple. Words such as: God, release, love, peace, joy, balance, gratitude, wisdom. They can change too depending on where you want your spirit to rise to, and what your goal is at the moment.


The power comes from stopping what you’re doing in the instant – whether getting ready to meditate, or feeling stress or tension under a certain circumstance – stopping all thought in that instant – breath in deeply, and you exhale repeat out loud your power word. Do this three times. Wait a second in silence, and then continue your path.


You will find that this simple practice can dramatically change the energy around you, which will in turn begin to shift the world around you. Power words will center you as outside influences begin to weigh in and affect your spirit.  quote29

I was taught by a great teacher at one time that whenever you’re having a problem, whenever you’re struggling with anything in your life, whenever your mind is filled with the struggles of your life, the way to make that problem go away, in that instant, is to think of God……..I’m asking you to not only think of God, but to repeat the sound of God.”  Getting In The Gap by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

“Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words… Words are things. You must be careful….. I think they get into the walls, they get into your wallpaper, they get in your rugs, in your upholstery, in your clothes, and finally, into you.” Maya Angelou

Words are things… via Youtube – ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Words carry more vibrational impact than thought – making this tool simple, but extremely powerful.

“…if we introduce…the repetition of the name of God, we shall find that we can control our moods, despite the interference of the outside world…the name of God will change the climate of your mind. It cannot do otherwise…We cannot long continue to repeat any word without it beginning to think about the reality which it represents.” (Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali) Getting In The Gap by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

“Words are more dynamic…than thought, because words are a different level of vibration than thought. They disrupt the universe with greater impact.” Conversation With God Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch

Life can be better – but the power lies only within us. A choice must be made first, and then we must remember to place ourselves daily on a path of power and peace. Power words are another easy tool to help establish and maintain that power. It’s a daily choice and practice – but the result is so worth it!

“In my world, nothing ever goes wrong.” Nisargadatta Maharaj


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Entraining Your Senses

ZEN philosophy embraces that “the way out is in.” The Emerald Tablet (ancient Hermetic wisdom for alchemists) states “As within, so without.” And for anyone who has taken up the road to empowering themselves knows, this short piece of advice is the genesis of the shift. We cannot change our world outside, without first working on the inside. Always.

This is why meditation becomes so important to empowering yourself and changing the world around you for the better.

quote14In previous posts I’ve discussed my personal, and simple, daily regime for keeping myself mentally and emotionally healthy and “up” – tools that I use daily and knowledge that I’ve accumulated over the years – and learned to be truth – and now have been incorporated into my debut novel INDUCED AMNESIA – which is what has sparked conversation (via readers who wanted to know more).


I’ve previously outlined the method I use for meditating, and why it’s so important. Now, as promised, let’s talk about why entraining your senses (during meditation) is so important….

Humans are multi-sensory. Daily we are filing information into ourselves via sight, sound, touch, taste and even vibration. We all know by now that our thoughts and inner beliefs need to be set on a path of power to manifest the positive goals or dreams we have for ourselves. But it’s so not easy to control these things when they’ve had years and years of running on auto, based on inner beliefs that very likely don’t serve us. Like many of you, I had that problem too. Once I realized I had to take back the control of my life, and even discovered the knowledge to do it, it wasn’t easy. I had the best intentions – and it would work for a while, then ever slowly, I’d slip back again – back into old mental habits, hit by old emotional patterns and so on. But – here’s what I do these days – and it helps…

include the senses in my meditation process – conditioning my mind by entraining the senses – just like the experiment with Pavlov’s dog.

Let’s discover how…

When I meditate, I do the following setting myself up to settle into the meditation:

1) Burn a scented oil always using the same fragrance – I prefer Jasmine. (But I suggest you experiment to find the right one for you.)

2) Wear headphones to shut out the worldalways use the same music/meditation CD/sound – (again, experiment to find the right one for you). I seem to especially respond to the sound of running water, and tend to use a meditation CD that incorporates that.

3) Use a Power Word repetitively during at least part of your meditation process – always use the same word or words. (Stayed tuned: my next post will cover more on Power Words.) For now, start with the word: RELEASE. Tell yourself to do it – just release – spell the word slowly. Relax every single inch of your body in that moment. Say it over and over.

Make these things a part of your daily meditation down-time. Incorporating these little things repetitively will start to have deepened profound effects on your state, either during meditation or later in your day if/when you need to lift your energy. Just like Pavlov’s dog we have triggers that can affect our brain. In fact, something like scent is a very strong memory trigger.

It works like this – your mind/body/soul gets to rest in totality for a brief period that is healing – and while doing it, your brain is taking in the smell and sound – and it’s focusing on a Power Word that has representation of peace in it. Over and over you do this – and soon your entire being recognizes that these things represent that time of reset. You’ll begin to find that just starting the process – the scent, the music – will settle your mind. It will become entrained or conditioned to know what to do and what’s to follow. To your mind – these aspects represent calm, peace, relaxation, spiritual reconnection. Just as you may have learned that you don’t like the dentist because you found the drill to hurt – your mind learned to react to even the simple sound of the drill. This is the same principle with a positive reaction rather than a negative one.

Now here’s the best part…..

As you go about your day and things happen that stress or upset you, you now have quick, simple tools to settle your spirit that can be done anywhere. Carry the scent oil with you – and when you feel you need a recharge to set you back on your path of intention:

Deeply inhale the scent, close your eyes, then deeply inhale and exhale 3 times while repeating your Power Word. (Depending on the stressor – you may have to repeat these steps.) If you can, incorporate the sound/music too.

Does this work?   You tell me… I always love hearing from you!  This process of entraining the senses does help me stay centered on days that test my peace of mind – I hope you find it works for you too!


“We are more magnificent than electricity, lightning or even the billions of stars in the sky. That is the truth of what we are.” ~INDUCED AMNESIA

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Video Trailer – for new novel INDUCED AMNESIA

HERE’s a video trailer for the new novel INDUCED AMNESIA…

Would YOU give up every memory you have to be happy?

Iapic6Check it out!! 

INDUCED AMNESIA is my first novel released (I pray it finds a voice out there) – and in the spirit of novels like: Girl, Interrupted, The Bell Jar, The Hours, Prozac Nation and Veronika Decides To Die, this novel is a ride through dark consciousness – however THIS novel takes on a different journey during the dark dream of pain, and in metaphysical, self-empowering fashion opens into a new world of possibility – a world that isn’t just fiction – THIS fiction offers real life empowering toolsand a twist on the dangers of being careful what you wish for –  because often times, we get just that.

“They say – be careful what you ask for – and it is true. We just don’t fully comprehend that on a cosmic energy level, but it’s so true….” excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

Also check out this short cool teaser!

INDUCED AMNESIA is available now on Amazon…

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Alchemy Is A Power Of The Mind

I LOVE the concept of alchemy, and even the word itself. While in ancient tradition it was used to describe a sense of mystical chemistry – today I believe it’s alive and well, and can be purposely practiced, within our own mind and soul. Hence, alchemy is a power of the mind…

At its most basic, alchemy = transmutation.

Transmutation is performed in the mind…. According to psychologist Carl Jung who re-examined alchemical symbolism and theory and presented the inner meaning of alchemical work as a spiritual path, Jung saw alchemy as a Western proto-psychology (the nature of the mind, soul and spirit) dedicated to the achievement of individuation. He claimed the practice of Alchemy seemed to change the mind and spirit of the Alchemist, and the material substances and procedures were only a projection of the Alchemists’ internal state, while the real substance to be transformed was the mind itself.quote11

Alchemy (definition) – is an influential philosophical tradition whose practitioners have, from antiquity, claimed it to be the precursor to profound powers. The defining objectives of alchemy are varied, but historically have typically included one or more of the following goals: the creation of the fabled philosopher’s stone; the ability to transform base metals into the noble metals (gold or silver); and development of an elixir of life, which would confer youth and longevity. Also defined asa power or process that changes or transforms something in a mysterious or impressive way.

The beauty is – as I’ve described before – we all really DO have control over our conscious mind. We can change it, and tell it what to do, at any time. This means…that we can choose to invoke that power of transmutation (change into another nature, substance, form or condition) within. It’s a choice.

“Alchemy is the art of manipulating life, and consciousness in matter, to help it evolve, or to solve problems of inner disharmonies.”  ~Jean Dubuis

Some people refer to it as a “spiritual science”. This is about taking the human physical awareness and transforming it into an empowering spiritual awareness. It’s about refining the essence of our thinking. And anyone can do it!

“I do know that there’s much, much more going on metaphysically, spiritually, cosmically – whatever you want to call it. Creation is like infinite alchemy – a cosmic transmutation, with only us in the middle, infantile in our understanding. We’re meant to evolve, grow, get stronger, smarter and more powerful…”  ~ excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

What if I told you there is no SECRET that some have found over others? That we are all capable – all humans – and in fact programmed and destined for, mindful strength, inner power – and we all have the ability to sense, connect to and change energy. Sounds mystical, doesn’t it?

Even though our ability inward is more grand than the power we watch fictional superheroes display, we need to remember that it works just as effectively, but not as instantly as the fiction. One of my favorite sayings that people hear me say often is: Patience grasshopper! The truth is our power is electromagnetic in nature. It can be explained fully in physics terms – and in the novel INDUCED AMNESIA, the main character Chloe learns not only this type of power, but yes, how it works on a scientific scale and she attempts to teach it as basic, so anyone can understand. But for now, let’s move ahead – no one really needs to know how something works to use it. Look at electricity and turning on the lights. If you’re human, you were born with the inner power.   Just that simple.

“The alchemical myth tells us that consciousness is created by the union of opposites” ~Edward Edinger

In other words, you need the polar opposites for change – the ying and yang principle. You need to taste the sour to appreciate the sweet. In ancient alchemy terms – you transmute using an opposing principle – you need lead, to make the gold.

And here you are – perhaps feeling like lead inside; so how to make the gold?

“…that’s supposed to be the point – alchemy…a transmutation of something base and simple to something rich and exquisite. That’s the reality of us, of our soul. That’s our purpose.”

“This power, this world of energy that we live in and use moment by moment, will destroy us when turned inward. The laws of this energy are simple and basic. They don’t change. Its how this energy is used and focused that determines the result; the age-old principle of cause and effect. We can never stay in a state of stillness. Energy is always moving. We either grow or we painfully digress. It’s just that simple. Forward or backward.”  ~ excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

You have to go inward. You have to stop the inward chatter. You have to stop focus on anything that is dis-empowering you. The forces are there, negative and real, but instead let them move through you. Notice them, but do not focus on them. Find inward silence. Take deep breaths and release all negativity. Relax every inch of your body. Focus only on a POWER word. Use any word that feels good – peace, joy, God, power.quote12

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”   ~excerpt from The Alchemist 

Now remind yourself with authority – tell your mind firmly – there is a positive to EVERY negative. Ask that it be shown to you – then maintain your energy as relaxed and stable – and step back out into the world. And remember: patience grasshopper!

“Draw peace in, center yourself in it, and then remind yourself very clearly of what you want to feel and what you want to accomplish. Everything else must be let go. And don’t forget to think about the things you’re grateful for. Then, stop all thought, stop the inner dialogue completely and allow yourself to follow and listen to the energy that created you.~ excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

Feeling is the voice of the soul. Follow that. When you feel negative emotion, turn back inside quickly – and keep doing this daily. As days move past, you will begin to look back and see alchemy of the mind at work. Change your mental focus and keep it in a relaxed peaceful state, and that WILL begin a change outwardly. It can’t not work. We are energy – our thoughts affect energy – energy comprises every thing in our world, both physical and non-physical. THAT is a scientific, proven fact. The laws of this universe are not personal or select. They are known laws that NEVER change. They are the momentum of flow for the universe we live in – power simply comes from using those laws, not trying to fight against them.

“We make our messes. We complicate things. The simplicity of meditation, and listening, is the first step to undoing all that; for anyone, and everyone.”  ~ excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

“Destruction perfects that which is good; for the good cannot appear on account of that which conceals it. The concealment must be removed so that the good may be able freely to appear in its own brightness.” ~Paracelsus Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim

SIMPLY – you now look at your negative influences with a new perspective – they are lead meant to be transformed into gold. Focus on stillness inside, picture the gold you want on the outside and listen carefully to the quiet, guiding voice that will begin to be heard, now that the chatter inside is controlled and eliminated. Alchemy is a power of the mind.

“You are an alchemist; make gold of that.”~William Shakespeare

 The Life of Timon of Athens (Timon at V, i)


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Changing Your Personal Power – The Start

CHANGING your personal power is about CONSISTENCY – and – reading and meditation help maintain that. But first – that very first, necessary step MUST be CHOICE. I know it seems small – but this is your turning point – where it can all begin to change for the better. And that choice means – if it’s real and not just lip service – that you’re ready to stand up, dust yourself off and walk in a new direction.

Now I KNOW it doesn’t seem easy, and in some ways for many of you, that first step is large and hard. I’ve been in a deep hollow of pain where change or trying to comprehend that I could start to feel better seemed impossible I even intimately know about being caught in a chemically fueled dark hole – trust me, I write fiction, but this isn’t fiction – I’m breaking it down to make it simple, and I know personally, these power tools can and DO work.quote5

So next – you need to RELAX every inch and aspect of you. Make time for letting go. Don’t worry about your next steps or what you want from life – not just yet. Again this is where meditation plays as a powerful tool – many experts over the years agree that “your suggestion or goal must be made without effort to be effective“. Physical relaxation and mental relaxation go hand-in-hand.

Many people think that our conscious mind has no power over the subconscious mind – but in reality, the subconscious mind acts more mechanically than emotionally. It simply goes on the data that is fed to it from the conscious mind – and this is the place that perception and beliefs are made and passed down to the unconscious. However, the unconscious mind is totally impersonal – it simply tries to act “appropriately” to your personal beliefs, interpretations and outside examples. This is huge to remember! This means that your conscious mind controls the subconscious mind.

“Our errors, mistakes, failures, and sometimes even our humiliations, were necessary steps in the learning process. However, they were meant to be means to an end – and not an end in themselves. When they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten. If we consciously dwell upon the error, or consciously feel guilty about the error, and keep berating ourselves because of it, then – unwittingly – the error or failure itself becomes the “goal” which is consciously held in imagination and memory.”

“If we are victimized, it is by our conscious, thinking mind and not by the “unconscious”. For it is with the thinking part of our personality that we draw conclusions, and select the “goal images” that we shall concentrate upon. The minute that we change our minds, and stop giving power to the past, the past with its mistakes loses power over us.” from Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

“They say – be careful what you ask for – and it is true. We just don’t fully comprehend that on a cosmic energy level, but it’s so true.” excerpt from INDUCED AMNESIA

And so that first choice is making the choice to stop feeding any more data for the moment into the subconscious via the conscious thinking mind. RELAX your mind along with every inch of your body itself – FEEL THE LIGHTNESS – command your body to relax just as you would talk to yourself and command that you repeat the word “choice” over and over and over. Your mind and body DO obey when you make commands. I call this stage The Opening – this is the stage where you RELAX and CLEAR all tension and negativity.

Believe it or not, as you practice this with CONSISTENCY, you will start to feel better and that will start a change in the outside world around you, subtly, but it WILL begin. Just try it! Make the choice to start…

1. READ to feed the mind

2. MEDITATE to relax the body and mind – remember STOP ALL THOUGHT – clear the mind

3. Remind yourself consistently throughout the day to RELAX – focus only on the present moment and tell yourself it’s only about ease and lightness – drop everything else into the past and behind you

Do this consistently and daily – by your own control, your mind should start to feel lighter first and then, your perception of the world will begin to shift followed by events….


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A Sequel For Induced Amnesia??

WITH the recent debut of the novel INDUCED AMNESIA, readers have mentioned sequel – will there be one? – already! The bigger question for me was – could there be one? This is such a unique novel plot – if you’ve read it, you understand what I mean – that it begs the question, could there be a sequel that can bring on the same effect, and still deal with similar consequential issues that initiate it?     Hmmmm……..well, it got me thinking.

Believe it or not, I went to bed thinking about it – and woke up saying: “Yeah, I think I might have it” after a dream. And so – here’s the beginning – let me know what you think…

“The stream of thought flows on; but most of its segments fall into the bottomless abyss of oblivion. Of some, no memory survives the instant of their passage. Of others, it is confined to a few moments, hours or days. Others, again, leave vestiges which are indestructible, and by means of which they may be recalled as long as life endures.”  ~William James

INDUCED AMNESIA 2: Indestructible Vestiges

I drop into the water back first, with a grand splash. Waves extend nearly the length of my body over the surface, up and away, and from where I’ve dropped, I don’t know.

The collision with water jolts me awake, and suddenly I’m aware that I am cradled and sinking in water and I can hear, even in muffled sound, the spectacular swoosh and splash the water is making in response to my body and its impact.

It feels like the water is circling its arms around my entire frame, pulling me in to itself, my arms and legs swipe back and forth in desperate attempt to connect to anything solid when just as instantly, I feel firm ground beneath me and in turn, my feet level to it. Finding footing, I’m now forced right back up, and in another dramatic splash, my head and torso escape the water with urgency.

I’m confused. A moment ago, I was dreaming. I’m sure of it.

Now, standing in what looks to be a shallow river with water to my waist, I look down and water’s dripping liberally from my long blondish hair, face and even the tip of my nose. I’m breathing heavily, more due to the sudden waking impact. My mind is reeling. It’s like a dream – I’m not even really sure who I am, and that pales to my wondering where I am.

I look up. Maybe because I’m a girl, an intelligent number to describe the depth of the valley I’m in eludes me, but it’s huge. I’m in a canyon filled with water from edge to edge, and the only ledge I could’ve come from is many stories up, and the sides of this chasm stretch straight up, ragged and rough.

I bend over, resting my hands on my knees beneath the water and cough, then inhale and exhale deeply trying to quell panic that’s creeping in. Water is still dripping quickly from my face and hair. It takes several moments and a bit of a fight to get my breathing even. My chest expands broadly and then collapses, over and over. I cough once more and then, I stand straight and look up.

None of this makes any sense.

I turn and look down river behind me. Then I look ahead up river. I’m surrounded by nothing but dark mountainous stone and rock cascading straight up with a little dirt thrown in from the looks of it. If I want to escape the water, it seems my only path is up the canyon side.

I wipe the water from my face and then turn left and start walking. It’s slow going trying to walk through the gentle current of the river and I use my hands to push water to the sides as I go. My movement is slightly more restricted too because my clothing – jeans and a red and navy long-sleeve buttoned-shirt – cling tightly to my body. When I reach the side, it’s as I suspected: there’s no shoulder or shore – just straight up. I tilt my head back and try to assess what I have to cope with, and then I look up and down the canyon once more. There isn’t any one place to start that looks more suitable than any other. There’s no other way but straight up.

I reach as high as I can, grabbing a large rock, I pull on it a few times to be sure it’s solid. It is, so I begin to hoist my water-laden body out and up. My feet scrape on the sides below the water trying to find something jutting out and when my right foot finally gets something solid, I push up. It’s tedious and slow repeating those same first steps over and over, but it begins to work – my entire body is out of the water and dripping profusely. The extra weight of the water in my clothing isn’t helping, but what can I do but try to ignore it and push on. At one point about a third of the way up, looking down, I realize I’m wearing black square-toe cowboy boots. I still have no clue how or why I’m here, but one thing is certain – I didn’t have a chance to dress for the occasion.

At the halfway point, I stop and rest. I try my best to slide as close to the gorge side as I can, leaning into it. I need to catch my breath and rest my hands. I even press the side of my face into the dirt and rock, and then I try to recall again – something – anything– yet there’s nothing but haunting confusion. All I remember is hitting that water with force – and nothing prior.

I look up. Where in the world could I have come from? There are two large black birds flying in circles, but I can’t tell if they’re eagles or vultures. I look around. I had to have come from the top. There just wasn’t any other option.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I carefully position my body to start again. As I start to pull myself up my hand slips, wincing, I grit my teeth and try again. Some dirt and a few smaller stones scatter past me, echoing as they tumble off the canyon side before landing in the water with a bevy of plopping noises. I don’t bother to look. Something quiet tells me if I do, my fate may repeat and I’d be left to start all over again. Focus where you want to go.

I pull up, hoisting myself with more difficulty now. Gravity is not my friend at this moment. Every move I make is slow, made with precision, and as a result I’m nearly there. I can see it. I reach for a another rock, gingerly testing it as I have been and when I put some weight on it, the rock shifts. I drop a bit as my boot slips from its support, but I don’t let go of the loose rock. I can’t. If I do, I’ll fall. My hip is pressing hard into the rocky side as I carefully move my foot and try to secure it again. The loose rock in my hand shifts again and this time some dirt falls, clipping the side of my face before it disappears down the chasm side. I quickly close my eyes and mouth to save them from the dirt as I pray the new footing holds, then just as suddenly the rock gives way and it’s a good size. I tuck my head in to my chest, wincing again as even more debris scatters over me. I feel the rock graze the side of my face before it hits my boot on its way down the canyon, descending in a series of loud bangs as it bounces off the gorge side. My foot shifts as pain shoots up my leg, straining, I press my hip until it also hurts and I frantically scramble with my now free hand, hoping to secure it to anything. My muscles are now aching as I manage to steady my hand into a crevice and after a few deep breaths, I begin the ascent once more.

Methodically, I continue, testing each foot and hand hold before pushing up, when before I know it, my hand is able to extend up over free space. I made it. A soft warm breeze blows over me and my hair moves gently with it. I push, trying to stand as tall as I can while trying to secure my arm over the top ledge. When I manage to get my elbow level with the solid ground, I close my eyes and use every bit of force I can to ease my body up. Then I get my other arm up and on to the solid ground that awaits me, and quietly praying I use my elbows to crawl on the ground, pulling my dangling legs up after me. Once my entire body is on the solid top edge, I crawl away from it several feet before rolling onto my back with a heavy sigh of relief.

My body hurts and I’m feeling a little dizzy. I just don’t want to move for a little bit. When I open my eyes for a moment, I see the large birds still circling the sky above. And I still can’t tell what they are. I don’t care. I just want to rest, so I close my eyes again. The sun feels intense now that I’m here on top, but it’s a good feeling; and then suddenly, the realization that I’m alone, lost and without any memory hits me. I don’t understand what’s happening to me, or why.

I open my eyes and sit up for a moment and the realization sinks a little further. It looks like desert, fluffs of tall grass patches with lots of dirt all around me and not a sign of humanity anywhere. Suddenly whispers start taunting me – where are you, how did you get here, is anyone looking for you…

Closing my eyes, I drop back again and my hands clench at the dry, sandy earth beneath them. I try instead to focus on my breathing while I try to think. It seems like a better plan than starting to panic. I just have to get up and start walking. There’s nothing else to do. And if I was thrown into that gorge by someone who wanted to do me harm? There was nothing to be done about that right now either.

Regardless, I take my time to rest, dry a little more and just simply enjoy the heat of the sun, when at some point I doze off, but only briefly, I think. When I open my eyes I’m startled by a silhouette, jumping, I quickly sit up. There crouched beside me is a girl, perhaps a few years younger than I, in her teens I guess. Her skin is black and her hair is twisted in a braid down her back, but her eyes are the thing I notice most – they’re brown, but a light, hazel brown that stands out. It’s an unusual color for anyone, but incredibly so for her ethnicity.

She smiles. “Hello.”

I say hello quietly as I quickly shuffle to stand, and she stands with me, followed by several silent moments as we look at one another.

“It’s okay to be startled. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

I nod, trembling a little, and wonder why. There’s nothing concerning about this girl – she has a drawing smile, dressed simply in a modestly short jean skirt, t-shirt and leather antique motorcycle boots with the laces undone – she’s just a little shorter than I and is looking at me patiently.

“My name is Opal,” she says. “What about you?”

Looking around, I shake my head and then clear my throat, “I don’t know….I don’t know my name.”

Opal frowns. “You don’t know your own name?”

I shake my head again.

“Where you from?”

“I don’t know that either.”

“Okay, you get you’re out in the middle of nowhere, right?”

I nod and rub my hands together to shake off the dirt clinging to them.

“Well, why do you look wet?” Opal asks.

I point. “I just climbed up outta that gorge.”

She laughs. “No you didn’t. You crazy?” Opal walks over to the ledge and looks down then she looks back at me. “You are crazy. No one’s climbing up that.”

“I just did.”

“With that outfit?” She looks me up and down.


“Those are nice boots, but they ain’t seen no horse, ever. And they sure ain’t mountain climbin boots either.”

I shrug.

“So….what is your story then?”

“I dropped into that river down there, and that’s as far back as my memory goes. I don’t know how I got there, where I am or who I am. And somehow I managed to slowly climb my way up. I didn’t see any other way of getting out of that gorge.”

She stared at me for a moment as though she was assessing whether to believe me or she simply just didn’t know what to say.

I stare down at the ground. “I know it seems insane. And now I need to figure out where to go from here.”

“Well then,” Opal says walking close and taking my hand, “this is your lucky day lost girl. I know someone who might be able to help with that lost mind of yours.”

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