HERE’s another sneaky peek into the novel INDUCED AMNESIA – This excerpt is the beginning of Chloe Gunn’s (main character) surgery. Leading to this moment has been a collage of reflection on her past and the pain it left her with, as well as her inability yet longing to deal with it. And just as she is about to undergo a procedure to voluntarily induce amnesia, we get to witness Chloe’s aha moment…..
With the guidance of Dr. M and Alicia, Chloe takes sorry little steps toward the operation table. She’s suddenly very cold and begins to shiver. Alicia removes Chloe’s housecoat and passes it over the table to Dana.
“I’m cold,” Chloe tries to say, but it takes a lot of effort.
“I know,” Dr. M says soothingly. “You won’t be for long.”
Chloe looks around the sterile room. Everyone is watching her with solemn empathetic looks on their faces. Alicia slips her arms under Chloe’s from behind as Dr. M explains “We’re going to lift you onto the table.” He helps lift her up. With a quick fluid motion, Chloe is laid gently on the operating table.
Chloe’s body is pulsing with rigid movement as the cold shivers intensify. Dana adjusts a pillow beneath Chloe’s knees as Alicia loosens the back of Chloe’s gown and then carefully situates her head in a molded headrest. The light above Chloe is blindingly bright and she blinks against it trying to shut it out.
Alicia touches Chloe’s shoulder affectionately before stepping back.
A year and a half of pain…
Dana leans down and whispers to Chloe, “Just keep breathing.”
A demon riding my back…
Someone lifts the front of Chloe’s gown, but she can’t tell who, and they place monitors on her chest.
A plague of disappointment, loss and fear…
Dr. M moves into her eye line, “Chloe? Can you hear me?”
I want to leave this place. “Yes.”
“We’re about to begin. Do you have any second thoughts?”
I want to get it right next time. “No.” That wasn’t the real me.
“Are you ready to begin, Chloe?”
The doctor rests his hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “You’re going to be more than fine,” he says reassuringly.
Chloe takes a deep breath and exhales, and with a glimmer of instant clarity, she says, “It’s me.” Oh my god, it’s me who’s the enemy. I’m the one who’s weak. “I stripped myself of everything.” It’s me. I did this. “I am ready for you to take that part of me that could do that.” That part – that’s not a part of my soul. You can’t destroy anything that I haven’t beaten you to already.
Dr. M smiles at her. “Good, then let’s believe you’ll find that bridge to something far better.”
Let go completely…
Dana holds Chloe’s hand.
Dr. M nods to someone across the room.
“Chloe, I want you to start counting back from ten,” Dr. M says.
“Ten.” I’m the pain. “Nine.” I’m the demon. “Eight.” I created it all…
A wave of peace sweeps Chloe up and she’s so very thankful for it. She offers no resistance and allows it to carry her far away.
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“The storms of your life become the violence of your mind.”
~from Your Sacred Self by Wayne Dyer.
Thank you for reading & I hope you enjoyed it! ~TCK
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